I’m Feeling 32…

Thoughts about aging from insights I’ve gained through working with the geriatric population

I am sitting here at our dining room table in Kirkland, Washington on a Sunday afternoon. The skies are gray and moody today which creates the perfect ambiance for a little *reflection*. These are thoughts that Tyler and I discuss frequently, as lately we have been having long periods of time in the car together for our hiking trips. This summer has been busy, yet we are finding that time is moving oddly slow. There is an undertone of finality this summer that is equally sad and exciting - more on this to come in a future post. I probably sound like a broken Taylor Swift record at this point, but I will keep screaming from the rooftops about what God has done in our lives. If we have learned anything over the past 2+ years of traveling it is that: 1. God is faithful and 2. Some of the best things can happen when you are willing to step outside of your comfort zone.

Let’s pick up where we left off at the end of June, our Banff trip. After coming off of our “(Canadian) Rocky Mountain High” both Tyler and I were hit hard by another case of COVID. COVID, this message is for you: please go away and never come back, THANK YOU. Okay, glad I got that off my chest. Anyways, after hiking for four days straight and logging 20k+ steps per day, we walked probably 100 steps total over the next two weeks. We were forced to abandon previously made plans and all we could do was simply wait for our bodies to become well again.

After our two week hiatus we were finally feeling up to leaving our apartment, just in time to celebrate my 32nd birthday. We had a low-key sushi dinner celebration (I will let you guess who ordered teriyaki chicken at a sushi restaurant) and of course ended the evening with ice cream (would you expect anything different?!). I felt so much love from afar from my sweet family and friends.

Turning another year older has me feeling simply overwhelmed with gratitude. Working with the geriatric population for going on 7 years now has made a profound impact on the things that fill my mind. I find myself thinking about aging and death frequently. My work involves daily conversations about how to age well, how to keep our brains and bodies healthy for as long as possible, and what to do when the aging process has been cruel - stolen my patients freedom and identity. I get to listen to stories about what my elders have learned over the past 90+ years of their lives and what has meant the most to them. My three takeaways from these conversations in the context of aging with my beloved elders are these:

1. Growing older is a privilege. I certainly used to be one of those people who did not want to grow older - I wanted to be young and feel young forever. Aging allows us to experience the beauty of perspective. As a 32-year-old, I now know what I didn’t know in my 20s (and would not go back to that time if given the chance!). And God-willing when I am in my 40s, I will have a greater perspective than in my 30s, and so on. Aging allows us to grow in maturity and continually gain perspective. I am not who I was and am not who I am going to be - my story is continually being written and that is so beautiful.

2. Health is wealth. Oof. This is one of those things that everybody knows, but that most of us do not have the self-discipline to follow through with. My elders who have taken care of their health (through a balanced diet and life-long exercise) have exponentially higher quality of lives as they continue to age and far less medical conditions. They are able to hold onto more of their retirements savings by not needing as many prescription medications and not requiring a high level of skilled care. I am writing this as a reminder to myself: the habits you are making now will have a positive or negative impact on your aging experience. It is a privilege to have muscles that are strong, to have legs that can walk, to have shoulder mobility that allows you to reach the top of your cabinets. Physical health and wellness = freedom. Shoutout to my grandma who lifts weights nearly every single day - you are my inspiration!

3. Your support system and community are everything. I have witnessed so many different family dynamics through my work in the hospital, skilled nursing facilities, rehab units, assisted livings, independent livings, and now the home health setting. The elders that have strong family support systems, children that are involved in their care, and families that come to visit them in nursing homes are happier and therefore healthier. Depression is an illness that plagues nursing homes specifically (in my experience) and leads to isolation and cognitive decline. Having a strong sense of community is so vital as we age and in my opinion, is just as important as physical health. Everybody needs someone. We are not meant to live this life alone. If you are someone who takes care of this population know that your work is SO important. Your smile, warmth, and love means everything to some of these elders who do not have anyone else. You are making a profound difference.

As you all know, my contract this summer has been in the home health setting. This means that I see patients who are either post hospital stay, post short-term rehab stay, or have been referred to home health by their physician due to a new onset of health issues. My overall experience in home health this summer has been good, due to the fact that I am working for a really amazing hospital system in the WA area with great resources and support and due to the safe territory I am working in. What I have enjoyed most about home health is that my patients are where they want to be. The bulk of my clinical experience is in rehab/skilled nursing facilities and in these settings this is the last place where my patients want to be. All they can think about is going back home, understandably. In home health, my patients have already met their goal of making it back home, which means that they are generally happier and willing to do what it takes to stay home. I have enjoyed getting to see my patients be more comfortable and feel safe in their home environments.

Some of the downsides I have experienced with home health have been mostly logistical. Finding a bathroom has been a major issue for me, LOL. If you know me, you know that my bladder is the size of a peanut (I drink a lot of water, sue me!). I have been forced against my will to decrease the number of 40oz Stanley’s I drink per day, as I do not like searching for random bathrooms between patients. If I were staying in Washington long-term, I would open a Quick-Trip franchise.

On a more serious note, it has also been a huge adjustment for me not being able to build as strong of sense of rapport with my patients, as I now typically only see them once a week. In the rehab/skilled nursing setting I saw my patients 2-5 times per week, allowing us time to really develop a good relationship. I miss the extended amount of time that I was able to have with my patients in the rehab setting. I also miss the ability to collaborate face-to-face with my coworkers, however, home health has also been a positive for me in terms of preserving my social/emotional battery. I consider myself an introverted extrovert, meaning that I enjoy being around people (specifically in small group settings - put me in a large group and I might as well be a wallflower) but I must have time by myself to recharge my social battery. Home health has allowed me time in-between my patients to recharge my battery and not come home so emotionally and socially exhausted. Tyler has told me that he sees a significant difference in my energy levels since working in home health. He is so happy when I come home after work now and am willing to talk to him ;) We used to have an agreement when I was working in rehab/skilled nursing that he was not supposed to talk to me for at least an hour after I got home from work.

With all of that being said, I am happy to say that I have extended my home health contract here in Washington and we will be working in home health here until October 4th. We are looking forward to being here in the fall and experiencing some fall foliage that we missed out on while living in California. I am so grateful for this job opportunity and feel proud of myself for going outside of my comfort zone and learning a new setting. I have learned so much since April and am looking forward to what else God will show me through this experience.

Thank you for reading, we love you all.

The Wandering Wrights